Saturday, September 6, 2008

Gollywhompers: Don't bite down and swallow slowly

I thought I was doing okay today...until I ran into the story on this newfangled thing that you can swallow to do surgery inside your body without having to have holes cut though your skin to do the job! Now that both makes me happy AND makes me afraid. What if something goes wrong and the surgeon has made a mistake in the direction this lil fellow takes off to inside you?

Well, to rein in my active imagination, well suited and honed to science fiction images by decades of practice, I will say they say it is set up to take ONE little bite of you before continuing its path through your alimentary canal. I'm guessing they have some other device coming down the pike to work on those places they might need a biopsy that aren't along that useful and strategic canal's banks.


  1. The only two kinds of people who fear the advance of medical technology are churchmen and lawyers. I'm sure that some one of them protested that making a patient inhale a gas, even to relieve pain, might be dangerous in some other way. Anatomy, vascular surgery and even, for pete's sake, pathology were all held back for a 1000 years by one or many fear filled beliefs, but this is different.
    This is a thing, on it's own, blithely chewing it's way through flesh and bone. ...
    Wait. I've got the movie.
    In a world where everyone has to swallow one of these damned things on their 13th birthday placing themselves fully under the control of the empire.... (Shot of lawbreaker with gizmo chewing itself right out the side of his head while he is on the street. Much looking away by the defeated citizens.)....a new breed of teen has been born.... . (It's a group of youngsters who have learned how to hack into the devices to make them do whatever the teens want.) Hilarity and horror ensue.

    Joe(now try to sleep)Nation

  2. It gives a whole meaning to the phrase, "I need that surgery like I need a hole in the head." I can't imagine swallowing something that will cut me open once it's inside. Sort of like ingesting a piranha whole.

  3. Aw-w-w. You guys. I TRIED to derail that alien fiction gambit by saying that they'd only take ONE teensy bite ONLY along the alimentary canal. But, I know how it is in the oughts of the 21st century, you just didn't have enough geography in kindergarten to really KNOW where the alimentary canal is. I know, I know, poor things.

    But, really! I don't care if they just nibble at my tumors or nibble at kibble. It is MOOT when they are loose with their chemically trained and jagged little, razor-sharp, biting TEETH inside me. What if my chemistry isn't behaving that day?

    I'll forego that experience before it happens, thank you very much.